in a catch 22

i heard whistling the other morning - can u see what it was?

so... i should update the last two weeks...

two weeks ago... my total miles went way down (27)
tues - 5 tempo miles on a hilly route - just a tinge of pain in my right knee

thurs - 10 miles that seemd to take forever. i felt rusty, heavy legs, and some pain in my right knee.

sat - 12 miles since it was a step down week. it went ok until the last few miles. the pain in my right knee was letting me know it was there.

in fact, the next day it hurt really bad. so i decided to rest as much as i could the following week. i saw a massage therapist on mon. it hurt so good!

this past week... (my total miles are down even more (21)

thurs - 5 miles; i decided to go for a run since i was pain free tues and wed. i felt springy and fresh, and overall i never felt the pain and had to slow myself down. occasionaly, i could feel a tiny twinge but didn't know if that was all in my head or actually in my knee!

saturday - couldn't run in the morning so had to do the long run in mid afternoon. it was warm, 80 and windy. i had hoped to do the last 20 miler on the schedule but cut it short at 16 miles due the pain. everything went well the first 10 miles and then when i came by my mailbox to fill up my water bottle, the right knee got tight and started to hurt. it would come and go. at mile 13 i pulled my calf sleeve up over my kneed, took my other one off my left leg and doubled it on as well. great support and reduced the pain, but i knew i need to run walk to make it home.

i've been reading posts from other runners on the atlanta track clubs FB page that the last 7 miles of the marathon are "beastly hills". last week, i knew my attitude would be everything. at this moment, honestly, i'm moping. trying to figure out what i'm going to do in the next 3 weeks to make this happen. right now more than anything, i need to let go of my time goal. the first 20 miler i did, i was ready to go 6 more. i finished 20 in 3 and a half hours and knew i could break a 4:40 goal if i kept going. i know there are other marathons, but i also know how much work i put in to shaving off time from my first marathon. so i guess if it's meant to be, it will be. if not, i'll try again later...